I Say A Little Prayer

Theme song: I Say A Little Prayer

I found "I Say A Little Prayer" by Aretha Franklin while searching for a Leonard Cohen song. I don't know exactly why, but linking the two performers, different as they are, seems right to me.

The song reminded me instantly of Laura. It's about a working woman who, in her daily rush-rush, prays for her sweetie -- not just "thinks about." Prayer, to me, elevates a relationship.

The French have a phrase, "gros mot," which means, essentially, "bad word." To an anglophone it can also carries the flavor or "big" and "heavy."

"Prayer," for educated, white liberals (and probably a lot of other people, too) is a "heavy" word. It recalls crazy religious fanaticism, which I find disappointing.

It's hard to do, I know, but if you consider letting go of all the bulls*** that has been saddled to prayer, you will be left with these essentials:

• Hope
• Desire for connection
• Good intentions
• Reverence
• Gratitude and
• Love

Often when one prays, one is hoping for something. Although I don't believe much in hope -- it's too much about desire and aversion to fit in with my spiritual beliefs -- I find it sweet. It is sweet to hope for good outcomes and the well-being of those you know and love or even those you don't know or don't love.

(Buddhism substitutes the practice of "metta," which is loving-kindness. This could, due to its exoticism, sound safer to certain Westerners than prayer does. But, I assure you, it is the same concept!)

Prayer also expresses the universal longing for connection that I think is such an important part of being human -- and relationships as well.

Generally, the act of praying is an act of good intentions. All religious wars aside, I continue to be moved by the human quality of trying to do good.

Prayer is also about reverence -- the quality of deep respect that comes from the heart.

Imagine, for a moment, that we could all be humble enough to revere the people we love.

It's not so far fetched as all that, really, if you accept that each of us is at least as beautiful, complex and ancient as a flower -- or a tree.

You can learn that from reading a book about biology. But does a book about biology teach, directly, the importance -- and implications -- of reverence?

Without reverence, you stay at the level of logic and curiosity -- fine things that don't go far enough.

Prayer, perhaps most importantly, is about love and gratitude. It is natural that "I Say A Little Prayer" reminded me -- if that is a strong enough term -- of Laura.

As many of us know, it's not fun being left behind. And my Laura has been holding down the fort for me in so many ways: work, family, biodynamic food and even that crazy cat of mine. Really, without Laura, this 7 week French odyssey would have been a bit of a catastrophe.

It has been so lovely having someone -- an ocean and a continent away -- who I can trust is holding the faith for me and with me.

As a result of this, inspired by Aretha Franklin, I began to say a little prayer for Laura.

Don't be scared!

Aretha does us the favor of softening the notion of prayer for us with a song that projects lightness and movement in the real world -- even using the word "little."

We don't have to get too heavy, but we can bring prayerful qualities to our relationships nonetheless.

Your Turn

What place, if any, do you think prayer -- or prayerful qualities -- has in relationships?

P.S.

If you are interested in the connections between technology, the Black church and musicians like Leonard Cohen and Aretha Franklin, read the new blog, Technologies of Gospel, by L.B. Johnson. You might not get it all at once, but certainly your synapses will fire in a new way.