I'm So Gay I Want to Shop All Day

Theme song: Rebel Girl

Since I'm tired of writing about mostly young, mostly white, mostly male people killing each other, I decided to go a new direction, and write about shopping. And, since it's Gay Pride month, why not write about the companies that are being boycotted and otherwise dealing with backlash because they openly support LGBTQ(RSTUV)? Here goes a list of companies that need our help now:

• Oreos. I haven't had an Oreo in a long time, but I used to really love them. Anyway, it's good to know there is a cookie that supports my lifestyle choices.
• Betty Crocker. Whoa. I always thought Betty was a family woman.
• Levi's. I'll have my assets covered.
• Cheerios. Eating dried cereal is so gay.
• American Apparel. Supporting gays isn't this company's only issue. They support undocumented workers, too.
• Walt Disney World Resort. Good to know I can go on vacation.
• Starbucks. I used to say, "Friends don't let friends drink Starbucks." May have to rethink it.
• Wheaties. We are the champions (sway back and forth), my friends and I."
• Tide. Since I can buy clothes, it's good to know I have something safe with which to clean them.
• Microsoft. Hmmm. I don't like Bill Gates. Besides, almost all my devices are Apple.
• The Home Depot. Of course they support gays -- everyone knows gays love interior design and home improvement projects.
• Pampers. Wait a minute. Gays can't have babies.
• Pepsi. Ack! I prefer Coca-cola when I want to drink ultra sugary, water-controlling, local economy destabilizing multinational beverages.
• Safeway. I think they're pro-union, too.
• Crest. Something I'll need when I'm done drinking my Pepsi.
• Old Navy. Owned by Gap. Located in San Francisco. Would not have employees if they did not support gays.
• Girl Scouts. I always secretly suspected girls were smarter than boy (scouts). Besides, they definitely have a better business model.
• Macy's. This is good. Fancier clothes for fancier people.
• Target. Gays really like low-cost, disposable products mostly made in China.
• jcp. Since when did this clothing company rebrand as an IT consulting firm?
• Pillsbury. I always, always, thought the Dough Boy was queer.
• Walgreens. I shop here!
• Ford. Reassuring to know there is a gay-friendly car in case I ever choose to buy one. Too bad it's not Tessla.
• Gap. Ditto what I said about Old Navy.
• Green Giant. This, as Laura says, explains a lot. He's hunky, though.

Okay, friends, want to know the weird part? I intended to make light of the whole gay-friendly company and shopping thing, but as it happens, I learned new things (including discovering Bikini Kill) -- and actually felt a little melty sensation in my heart called gay pride.

I understood, first hand and really for the first time, why we need to set aside time as a country and a society, to celebrate things like pride, black history, and women's history. I felt, doing the research for this little post, a pleasure in seeing positive images of queer people and reading stories about queer culture and experience. It feels inclusive, and I took a little time out from my cynicism about big business to appreciate the leadership it requires to take a stand on these issues.

In fact, in a world in which people are shooting each other like crazy and everyone is threatened by environmental and economic peril, it's uplifting to think that queer people can potentially feel safe applying and working at certain companies. Looking at the list, there aren't many products I routinely use, but I already feel better about these companies, and corporate America in general, knowing that they are doing something at least a little courageous and at least a little compassionate. It makes me feel like the Grinch on Christmas day (you know, after he heard the singing).

So thank you. I like to be included -- and I doubt I'm the only one.