Life by the Numbers

Theme song: Couldn't Cause Me Harm

Some people think that if they are successful, they will be happy, which upon reflection is silly. If you don't believe me, reflect upon it.

For many people success means money, possessions, and accomplishments. All good.

As for me, I've defined success as more of a process. I tell my children (and anyone else who cares) that success means doing your best and feeling happy while you do the things you do. I built happiness into my success definition. I emphasize doing your personal best both because you can't actually do anyone else's best and because I know that when I've given something my all, I don't have regrets. Regrets, I find, get in the way of happiness -- and probably success, too.

I lately read that most people are happy 15% of the time, unhappy 15% of the time, and feel neutral 70% of the time. That doesn't feel true for me personally (I'm prone to extremes), but it does provide food for thought. Maybe my own definition of success is a little lofty.

When I brought these statistics up with the children, they thought it sounded reasonable to be happy 15% of the time, sad 15% of the time, and neutral 70% of the time. They are very smart people; probably more realistic than I am.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to imagine myself in neutral 70% of the time. What does neutral feel like? Neutral is neutral, so it doesn't include negative words like "bland," "dull," or "numb." Maybe neutral is more like "even," "balanced," and "stable." Stable like a solid oak table. Or a majestic stone column. Neutral like a mountain or a stone Buddha. Peaceful.

I'm reassured. Except that, for me, not up is more like down. If the 70% statistic holds true, it's in my best interest to live my definition of neutral carefully.

I have some trouble imagining success without happiness at least 15% of the time. If you've got money, possessions, and accomplishments, but you aren't happy, what do you really have? It's strange to think you went through all that effort to feel neutral.

{photo credit: Mary Vican}