Truth and Lies

Theme Song: Oh Babe It Ain't No Lie

First off, I highly recommend you listen to the embedded YouTube video, above. If there is anyone I admire more than Sinèad, It's got to be Elizabeth. She is so beautiful and soulful! Of course I never knew her, but she seemed to have so much sanity, gentleness, integrity, humor, grace, grit and . . . truth.

Truth and Lies

I found out recently someone has been telling a lie about me. Normally that wouldn't bother me. Maybe I would even be flattered. You know, any press is good press kind of thing. Like, they could be talking about how to achieve world peace or solve climate issues or whatevs and, hey, they are talkin' about little ol' me.

But this lie hit me where I live because it involved my son. My gorgeous son who, at 12, is one of the few people I know who can barely tell a lie and, when he does, he confesses! Very cute.

Now, he's almost a teenager, so that may change. But, as of now, that boy is as upright a gentleman as I ever known. I respect and love him as much as or more than anyone I have ever met.

So, my reputation with him is golden and when it is threatened, by my own thoughts, words or deeds, that is cause for alarm. But when someone else threatens my reputation with him, that is cause for, well, anger is the word I'll use.

Why am I angry? Because I feel hurt and disappointed and, yes, fearful. I don't want harm to come to my relationship with my son for his benefit, mine and yours.

These words are not directed to the person who told the lie. They are directed to anyone who can hear what I'm saying:

When you undermine a relationship between mother and child (or, really, any two people), you undermine, in this order: yourself, the child and then the mother. After that, you undermine the world because you destabilize the child and the child's sense of security. An insecure person is an unkind person and that radiates around.

My recommendation? Don't do it.

All Kind Acts

Goodness and truth, too, radiate around. And so does forgiveness, which I will come to ASAP. Otherwise the lie will make me insecure and unkind and maybe I will start telling more lies, too. And on it will go. . .

Reasons People Lie

I have put together a little list of why people lie. I have done this in order to remind myself that it's not personal and also to stimulate my sense of forgiveness and compassion.

People lie because they are:

• Misguided
• Mentally ill
• Under the influence of drugs or alcohol
• Worried they don't have enough of something and hope lying will help them get more
• Afraid to take responsibility for themselves
• Confused about what the truth is
• Afraid of the truth because it hurts
• Wishing the truth could be different
• Sorry they did what they did
• Afraid to get in trouble
• Afraid to upset someone they love
• Afraid someone they love will be angry with them
• Angry and so wish to hurt someone
• Mindlessly or habitually going with the status quo
• Remembering incorrectly but have good intentions
• Hoping to influence outcomes or
• Feeling a lie is necessary for the greater good of all

So. Lying is a common and sad experience. I have, of course, done it myself -- usually because I wished the truth were different or I wanted to keep someone's love. Of course it was misguided and I paid the price as we all, inevitably, do.

Forgiveness

I forgive myself and all those who have occasion to lie. We are all doing the best we can under our particular set of circumstances.

I get you might be curious about what the lie was, who told it, and all the other juicy details. But I can't tell you. Why?

Because the lie stops here.

Your Turn

What's your take on lies? Did I leave anything off the list?