Does It Matter How It Ends?

Theme song: How's It Gonna Be?

As I write, it's been just over one week since I broke up with my girlfriend.

Just after our closing conversation, I headed to Wilbur Hot Springs for a previously planned yoga retreat.

This previously planned yoga retreat reminded me of a somewhat similar scene that took place eight years ago.

Eight years ago my future ex-husband and I declared the end of our romance and I got into my car and drove the many miles from Stinson beach to Dunsmuir, CA, all alone. I drove in fear, shock, and ignorance of the real circumstances of our breakup. He did not tell me that he was driving back home to be with his lover and our children.

In contrast, a week ago, my relationship ended honestly and without betrayal--a healing gift. Instead of heading off, alone and in shock, to my yoga retreat, a close friend picked me up and listened to me while I shared my feelings about the uncrossing.

How my life has changed! Instead of an occasion of shock and terror, I feel confident that I will be fine and even flourish. Different from eight years ago, I have cultivated strong friendships. While I hear whispers of the fear, sorrow, and sense of longing breakups bring, I am not alone.

Up at Wilbur, our teacher encouraged us to take many baths in the sulfury healing waters. I can't say whether it was the absence of wifi, the temperature of the waters, or their ingredients, but soaking seemed to bring instant calm and a sense of well-being.

Gazing out from the baths, I could see that the creek running through Wilbur's small valley is but a trickle. The bathing flumes fed by the springs are full, but for how much longer can we expect this luxury?

The crusty creek bed signals that, yes, these springs will someday be empty; a turn of the tap will yield nothing.

In fact, those springs, like all relationships and everything else begun, will end.

{Photo credit: pfly}