Mitt Romney, Will You Marry Me?

I am really quite furious! Or maybe founded by the dumb is how I really feel.

I watched the video of Mitt Romney accusing single moms of causing gun violence in America. And I watched the viral video of his “binders full of women” comment.

Fortunately, at least the report that he specifically accused single moms of causing gun violence seems to be an exaggeration.

He actually more globally accused single parents of causing gun violence, somehow making a leap in logic that leaves my heart racing and my head spinning.

So, although my Tuesday column is supposed to be a happy column about my children, the happiest thing I can say is that Mitt Romney is not their father. I mean, to my knowledge, even their father doesn’t keep “binders full of women” on hand.

Of course, he is a single parent, as well, so he is causing gun violence. Shame on him! I know if he gets remarried, the rate of gun violence in America will fall. So, therefore, I encourage him to find a wife--and quickly!

I was already planning to take the children (and their non Mitt Romney father) to France next year, but if Mitt (tell me again what kind of name that is? A cheap shot, but I take it with all sincerity) is elected, maybe I will have to leave sooner.

France vs. The United States

France, of course, is a country that offers a safety net for single parents, health care insurance, free public education (in fact, their universities are free, yes free, even for foreigners) and, yes, their rate of gun violence is far below that of the United States.

Here are the stats:

• 40: Percent of children with unmarried parents in the US
• 52: Percent of children with unmarried parents in France
• 60: Percent of homicides using guns in the US
• 9.6: Percent of homicides using guns in France

In fact, the overall homicide rate in the United States is over four times higher (yes, higher!) than that of France. That is because we have fewer single parents living in the United States. If we had more single parents, we would have fewer homicides. (I think if you had a mind like Mitt’s you would see what I mean.)

Hmmm. France has gun control. Could there, possibly, in any way, at all, be a correlation between fewer guns and fewer deaths by guns?

Or, maybe Mitt is right, and less poverty equals less violence. However. Despite the lack of guns and the lack of poverty, there is also a higher rate of single parenthood in France. Because, you know, lack of poverty and lack of guns causes single parenthood. (Again, put on your Mitt brain to think through that logic.)

United We Fall

Now, Mitt, you do the math. And when you’re done, you might feel confused by all those numbers.

So give me a call. I’m single. And I know, somewhere, I am in a binder. I just have to be. There are, after all, binders of women. And since there are binders and I am a woman, that means I’m in one.

Your Turn

Could relative economic security and lack of gun violence be causing single parenting in France? Or, more likely, is single parenting causing lack of poverty and gun violence? You make the call.

Citations

Belkin, Lisa. Motherlode (blog). Married vs. single moms. The New York Times. October 18, 2012.

Jrank.org (website). France - Transformations of the Family in France.

The Guardian (blog). Gun Homicides and Gun Ownership Listed By Country. July 22, 2012.

Wikipedia. List of Countries By Intentional Homicide Rate.