Love Speaks to the Animal

Theme song: I Eat Cannibals

I have to confess that I was wholly unable to find a song that reflects the feelings I want to share here. But YouTube didn't fail me. I went on a trip down memory lane and got a good laugh out of the deal.

Which I needed because, I have to admit, if gay marriage is not legalized tomorrow, I am indeed going to be grumpy. If not totally outraged.

I will continue, as I have for some time, to believe that this country is filled with ignoramuses and led by a confederacy of dunces. Those are hard feeling because, as some have pointed out, there aren't so many places for a woman like me to go.

You say: Try Angola or South Korea and see how you like it.

Erm, okay. But I still think we in the US should be able to do better. We'll see.

The Subject is Love

In any case, the subject is love.

What better time to talk about love than the eve of the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage?

As a divorced person, it's true, it irritates me to have to generate so much passion about this topic. The thought springs to mind, unbidden: We want to get married? Really?

If anything, divorce has taught me that marriage is literally a form of contract law and the biggest stake anyone has in divorce is the IRS. By nature, I am not a cynical person. But I found out, not really the easy way, that there is a wide gap between love and marriage.

I do get it: Equal human rights for all. Sounds good to me. Besides. I like dressing up, carrying around flowers and throwing big parties as much as the next person.

The truth is, though, that being human often sadly gets in the way of our ability to actually experience love.

The fact that gay marriage is not legal is a perfect example. Too much ruminating on what people should do when and why and with whom.

Animals Make Better Lovers

This is why I think animals are generally better lovers than people (Don't get any hasty ideas. By "lover" I simply mean "one who loves.").

Animals experience love more directly that humans do -- in fact embody it -- and they don't make excuses or try to explain the mystery.

You might say: They don't make excuses or try to explain the mystery because, Anna, they can't. If they could they probably would.

Maybe. But here's the thing: Love is not an intellectual experience. Nor is love itself "up for debate" or able to be decided in a court of law.

I suppose the reality is that gay marriage is not about love at all. It's about, as I said, contracts and tax law and a misguided attempt to keep the "riff raff" out.

Did you notice? I'm here. That's me, talking into the cell phone and waving from across the street.

Yep. The riff raff is already here and popular sentiment will make us hard to get rid of -- married or not.

Love is a Form of Cannibalism

As you know, I hate politics. Especially egregiously unfair politics, but I got distracted by the mere possibility that, tomorrow, justice will not be served and I will have to move to Canada and I can't move to Canada because my kids live here and so I will be permanently stuck with very dumb people making mean and dumb decisions (I'm referring to the American public in general and the Supreme Court in specific).

I know, I know. Live in the moment. It hasn't happened yet. Don't go borrowing trouble. If all else fails, breathe (ack -- hands at throat -- gasp).

You know, this post was really supposed to be about my personal definition of love. I wanted to inspire an understanding that love is not about thinking and it is not about justice.

I wanted to make you laugh by saying that love is, in fact, a form of cannibalism.

I was going to say, "Before you call the police or start really worrying about Laura's health and safety, let me explain. Love, allow me to repeat, is not an intellectual experience."

It is, in fact, something far richer and more beautiful.

In the midst of all this brouhaha about gay marriage, it's very hard for me to think about the reality of love.

But, for you, I will gather my strength and try. Here goes:

Love Speaks to the Animal

The first thing to know is that love speaks from the animal in you to the animal in your beloved.

By this I mean that when you love, it is your body, wordless, that loves.

In fact, if you love someone enough you don't even have to like them. You may sometimes feel like saying, when your beloved is talking about the weather or incomes taxes, "Ssh. Don't interrupt me while I love you."

Love may be likened to peering deeply into a cat's eye. You look and look but nothing can be discovered there. Love is depthless and incomprehensible -- even menacing in its inscrutability.

What actions can we take or conclusions can we make when there is no reason -- just resonance? Just beings connected by unseen and poorly understood forces?

Love is like cannibalism because it makes you want to discover the other wholly and completely. But we don't want people for their personalities, not really. We want them for their essential selves -- selves far deeper than personality. Selves that are expressed as the living body and not thoughts and words.

It probably seems crazy, I know, but it's actually quite beautiful that love, in its purest form, is just like nature. Is not different from nature.

I'm not 100% sure the Justices of the Supreme Court have the sensitivity, intelligence or humor to understand this definition of love and its attendant implications.

Yet, I comfort myself, at the end of the day, love still conquers all.

Your Turn

What do you think? Is love like cannibalism?