The Heartbreak of I'm Leaving

Theme song: Leaving on a jet plane

Friends, heartbreak is coming. This time, it's bittersweet.

The Sweet

Sweet because I will be visiting my well-loved, adopted country -- the beautiful country of France -- spending time with my children adventuring on trains and meeting friends old and new with less scheduling and more free time than usual.

I feel so grateful to have French friends with whom I can stay and experience and share French culture and language with my children. This is because, as those who know me know, I think part of every child's -- if not every American's -- education, should be travel.

Let's see the world so we understand all the richness that must be preserved. I very much hope that trips like this will give my children a sense of adventure, fun and love of differences.

This time out of time is, comment est-ce que je peux le dire, dreamy. I hope to foster in myself and in my children a sense of dreaminess -- and possibility.

Since I'm going ahead and spending some time on my own before the kidlets arrive, I -- please don't tell anyone -- bribed them with iPods so they'd be willing to fly the 10 hours to Paris tout seul ("all alone" if ya catch my drift).

Yes, friends, Paris is calling. I'll be conducting business from cafés and borrowed apartments (please let me know if anyone needs coaching about web presence).

This is the beauty of the online business come to fruition. (True, the French will think I've gone stark, raving folle for actually working over the summer but I'll remind them that we Americans simply haven't mastered l'art du vivre comme il faut.)

Well, they haven't learned the art of adding drops of pleasure to business. So there!

I've even set up a one-to-one training appointment at the Mac store in the Louvre, so I can tell you all about whether French Apple nerds (are they called pommes coincés?) are similar or different from our home-growns. And make you feel jealous about all the amazing art.

People, I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited.

The Bitter

And yet. Here's the bitter part:

I'm leaving my kids, Laura, my best friends and even business connections that I could meet with over the summer. Am I crazy, or what?

The hope is that France will inspire and renew me and I will come back in the Fall ready to do what we Americans do best: Rock-n-roll.

In the meantime, my sweeties will be, for a longer than I'd like, far away.

I ask you: What is more heartbreaking? That I will miss them, or they will miss me?

Real love is stronger than distance and so, although I will inevitably be homesick and sad at times, I will also be excited to come home and share my adventures, bring gifts from the beautiful country of France and knock down and pounce on the one I love best, smothering her with kisses and sharing the relief of knowing we are together, again.

You see, I've had long-distance relationships before. They are hard, it's true.

The difference this time is that I know my sweetie truly cares for me, that her long, smooth arms will be open wide when I get back.

It's that much easier to go knowing that I will have a soft landing when I get back.

So kiss me and smile to me, tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go. I'm leaving on a jet plane. . . .Oh, babe, I hate to go. . . . -- John Denver

Yep. This bird is going to fly.

And while I'm gone, I have someone lovely to take care of the nest.

Your Turn

What things in your life are both difficult and life affirming at the same time? How do you handle the paradox?

Special to Laura: Remember, you are the sweet that makes leaving bitter. Next time, we go together.