Shollotapeia

Theme song: This World Is Not My Home

Definition: Shollotapeia: Healing through painful, vulnerable and honest conversations about race in America.

Last night I dreamt the word "shollotapeia." I didn't know what it meant, so I looked it up on Google. It turns out there are -- surprise, surprise -- just a very few things Google doesn't know.

So, true to Colibri form, I made up the definition, above.

Why?

Welll. . . .Laura and I have been having some painful discussions about race lately, so it was on my mind.

Then, today, she shared a set of four videos with me called You Can Touch My Hair.

Some of our painful conversations had curled around the issue of hair.

I tried to wave it all away. I didn't know that having "black" hair in America was such a tender, multi-faceted and difficult topic for so many black women.

Why didn't I know?

Without sounding too judgmental or self-deprecating, the quick answer is: ignorance.

It's not a fun answer, but it is a true one.

And, as we all know or will soon find out, sometimes the truth hurts.

Michaela Angela Davis, a hair activist and commentator in the films (see above), puts it like this:

There are very, very few white folks that want to have a conversation about race. It is uncomfortable for everybody. This is a nappy conversation, and if you can avoid it you are going to avoid it. So I am not surprised that very few white people are like "yeah, I want to talk about it." They don't want to talk about it. It hurts. . . .It's hard to be honestly ignorant. And ignorance just means you don't know. So what we're asking people to do is to bring their ignorance and bring their pain to a conversation and that's why it's hard.

Let's put it on the table. Personally, I don't like being ignorant and I don't like feeling pain.

And certainly I do not like to face up to the historical truths of slavery, racism and the race related violence and discrimination blacks face today in America and throughout the world. (And, yeah, I get it -- they are not the only ones. But black is what I'm talking about right now.

As Ms. Davis put it so succinctly, "It hurts." Not all of it, of course. Just the ignorant, hateful and bigoted parts.

Conversations -- deep and thoughtful, honest and vulnerable -- must be had in order for healing to take place. And when I say "healing" I mean social justice, just so nobody thinks I think a trip to the spa and some crystals will clear this whole thing up.

Be brave! And if you have any trouble I will be glad to help because I know it's hard.

Here are two links that will help:

• You Can Touch My Hair (With Discussion)
• un-ruly.com -- a website by and for bright and beautiful black women

Watching these short films removed some of my ignorance and invited me to feel my pain in a safe and understanding digital space.

Plus, I learned the definition of shollotapeia.

All in a day's work.

Your Turn

How do you feel talking about race?

P.S. My deepest thanks to everyone, everywhere, who fights the good fight with heart and soul to make our world a better, more just place.