Baditude Becomes Gratitude

Theme song: thank you falettinme be mice elf agin

People, it has been, as you know, a crazybeautiful year -- and we're not done yet.

It won't be over until the fat lady sings and the sparkly ball drops in Times Square.

I like to think about how, in Paris, all the little Frenchies will already be celebrating while we're just getting ready, putting on our pretty outfits, brushing our hair and smoothing on our lipstick.

Unless we're shaving or something.

Which reminds me. If you haven't seen the Audrey Hepburn/Cary Grant classic Charade, you really should.

For one thing, it's set in Paris and for another the Givenchy outfits are magnificent and well, for another two, so are Audrey and Cary.

Swoon City.

But I digress.

What I really want to talk about is love -- you know, the real kind.

Love

As those who know me know, I dubbed 2013 "The Year of Hard Work."

As a result, one of the things I'm most grateful for in 2013 is that it is almost over.

I'm excited, and a little nervous, to announce my theme for 2014.

Once I've announced it publicly like this, I won't be able to go back on it. And I know y'all will be checking up on me.

In fact, I'm counting on it!

Here goes:

Having worked my a** off this year, 2014 will be -- drum roll, please -- "The Year of Love."

I'm kicking it off with -- of all things -- ten days of absolute silence. I figured, after all this talking, I've earned the right to shut up!

What is a Year of Love?

It means, basically, the yamas and the niyamas of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, which are:

Yamas

• Nonharming
• Nonstealing
• Nonlying
• Continence
• Nonpossessiveness

Niyamas

• Purity
• Contentment
• Discipline
• Study
• Surrender

The yamas and the niyamas have been my party platform for many years now -- in fact, 20 years of yoga practice.

A Test of Practice

I think I've admitted here that working my a** off has been a real test of my practice.

I have failed that test many times this year.

Just this weekend, I stayed in my house -- mostly working -- from Friday evening to Monday morning.

On Sunday, my self-proclaimed day off, I worked for 12 hours.

As I told a friend, I didn't feel like I was working on my computer.

I felt like I was working in my computer. That, as I did keyword research, my head was actually merging with and entering into the deeper realities of what people are seeking. Their hopes and dreams represented in billions of search queries crawled and indexed.

It was intimate, isolating and cyborgifying.

My guess is Patanjali would point to "continence" and tell me to stop behaving like an addict.

As some of us know, addiction is not love.

Scary

The focus on love in 2014 doesn't mean there's less work to do.

My business is, after sustained effort, taking off and I am getting more and more clients and gaining more and more business connections.

These people will need my love in the form of commitments followed through and jobs well-done.

But what about my commitment to myself?

As the Buddha said, we offer everyone loving-kindness and the first person to whom we offer it is -- ourself.

How? I aim to find out!

So far, I'm finding hard work is kind of easy compared with real love.

It's strangely easy to sit on your butt for hours on end tippy-tapping away.

And it is vexingly difficult to balance work and life and live with compassion for yourself and everyone all the while respecting the place of work, worship and love called "the body."

I don't feel alone with this and that is in part because you are here.

Which brings me to gratitude.

Gratitude

Of all the things I am grateful for (and there are many!) this blog and my readers here are at the top of the list.

I love this blog!

I love writing it and getting to know people in this digital world we are creating together.

I am reminded of these famous lines by T.S. Eliot:

With the drawing of this Love and the voice of this Calling
We shall not cease from exploring,
and the end of our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and know it for the first time.

My commitments and mostly deeply held beliefs (see yamas and niyamas, above) haven't changed as a result of the Year of Hard Work -- but my relationship to them, as well as many of the tools I use to express them -- have.

That is how I come full circle -- and live my beliefs more fully for having tested them.

I think it's called life experience which, I am told -- if it doesn't kill or embitter you -- makes you stronger.

How you define love, then, becomes an expression of your commitments and most deeply held beliefs.

Your Turn

In the comments or on Facebook, I would be most grateful if you, my readers, shared topics you would like covered in 2014. The topics don't have to be specific to love -- they can be about shame, hate and despair for all I care.

As humans, we are subject to every emotion and physical experience. Whatever your topic, I'll do my best to open it up and shed light on it.

Of course, tips on how to live with love in 2014 are more than welcome -- they are encouraged!

Happy Thanksgiving!