Freedom

Theme song: Feel So Different

The theme today, people, is freedom.

All I used to care about was truth and beauty and keeping things simple because I was SO AFRAID.

Well. Life is, as they say, what happens when you are busy trying to, uh, control every last detail in order to stay safe. It's a very limiting way to live, I know.

Lucky me, I was not able to keep my simple little life. That whole white picket fence thing wriggled out from between my scared, sticky fingers -- maybe because it wanted freedom, too.

So I've had to add a few things, sometimes kicking and screaming, to the mix. They are:

• Courage
• Determination
• Joy
• Pleasure
• Adventure
• Love and, yes,
• Freedom!

Surely you can see, the more you add, the more complex things get. Yet if I had stayed focused on just my safety and security I would have been, well, stark raving mad and quite miserable.

And, in fact, it wasn't possible. The proof? If it had been possible that whole life of mine would still be here. But it's gone and quite impossible to get back.

To paraphrase my favorite singer (see above), I did not want freedom and I never expected to be free. (Okay, it's not exactly true because I trained to become a yoga teacher and yoga is all about freedom.)

But, for me, freedom was theoretical. It was something I could read about in my 5,000 year old yoga texts or listen to people talk about while I was on retreat.

It's not nice, I know, to call yourself names like "ostrich" but I kinda, REALLY, had my head in the sand.

However, when freedom was forced on me, I was, in a weird way, all terror aside, prepared for it.

What did this unplanned, accidental freedom bring? A type of joy and pleasure in life I had never known possible, that's what.

However. Freedom takes a lot of work and when you're not used to it you are not good at it. And it doesn't mean, as my ex-husband once told me (about himself, mind you), "I want whatever I want whenever I want it."

Before we go deeper, a quick two points about what freedom is and isn't:

1. Compulsion to gratify your appetites is the opposite of freedom.
2. As humans, we are never truly free in the sense that there are appetites, such as hunger and connection, that must be satisfied.

Real freedom comes from doing your work, being true to yourself and your commitments, not leaving messes (emotional and otherwise) and taking care of your body (it is, yes, a temple).

Friends, freedom is something you strive for. Freedom is hard work. Freedom is something you advocate for and defend like you would defend a child, a river, a planet or species.

Here's the thing: freedom comes from having healthy relationships with yourself, other people, God if you believe in him or her and even physical objects. Freedom is not, in the end, an individualistic experience. It, like all things human, is interactive.

I'm just a baby Freedom Fighter but this I do know: I feel so different now that I've learned more about the true meaning and value of freedom.

How about you? What are your thoughts on freedom?